depression | Journey of the Heart

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Ozzy: Fried, or Fed Up?

Posted on May 10, 2016 | Leave a comment

(Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

Okay, I am going to speak out about something that I am certain is weighing on the minds of most of the human race. What the hell is going on with Ozzy Osbourne?

Rumors are flying! Have he and Sharon split? Why would he leave? Why would HE leave? Was there an affair? Who had it? Would anyone be that surprised? I would!

I believe in Ozzy. I believe in his sobriety. I believe in his love for his wife and children. I believe in his loyalty to the fans that have stuck by him through all of his “living.”

Is Ozzy missing? Oh my gosh, where could he be? Fans are chomping at the bit, salivating for a new thread of gossip during this obviously slow news week. Speculation has toppled greater men…and women.

Here is what I think. I think Ozzy is sober. I think there is a perfectly good reason he left his home. Perhaps a trip, a business trip, a spa week. Could be any of these dreadful thing or so many more. And maybe the media has not been informed because it is none of their damn business where he is.

robyn_williams-depression Or the poor confused man might be hiding from the frothing at the mouth “journalists” and photographers who track his every movement! He could have gone underground…with his wife’s blessing…to find some much needed and deserved peace and freaking quiet, away from prying eyes and whining, fainting, screaming, lunatic fans. Now this is not really a slam against his fans, but imagine if you had to live your life like that? I know he made a choice. But what choice did he make? I am CERTAIN he did not choose to be the butt of industry jokes, hounded by the media about things that are none of their damn business, or even to be the subject of criticism about the most mundane aspects of his life.

I think he perhaps he chose to be a family man (he has always stood by his family) a musician, and an entertainer. We put entertainers on these high ivory towers and then we hound them to death, sometimes I think literally. Yet we are shocked when they come tumbling down in a psychotic haze of self-destruction and extremely bad choices. No one can survive under the pressure we place on entertainers. This is how we show our respect and admiration?

Let it go people. Need someone to judge and gossip about? Take it into your family, your home. Everyone in your life above reproach? Nobody in your family to talk about? Don’t make speculating and gossip your super power…that would make you a villain, and not everybody likes a villain.

Fighting the Blues

Posted on January 12, 2015 | Leave a comment

For months now, I have been battling this wicked ass depression. I’m up, I’m down. I’m good. I’m bad. Basically, I have been useless. Therapist says, “focus on the positive.” I try. This only serves to muddle my brain and confuse me to the point of incoherancy. How can that be, you ask?

There are more bad days than good. No focus, no ambition, no desire. Still plenty of work to be done. Work I have been putting off for far too many months. Work that affects the lives of others. I fear doing said work because every time I try, I make mistakes and that defeats the purpose. I’m not ignoring the work, I just can’t get it done correctly.

So I wallow in the guilt I feel for letting others down. Not much positive there.

Therapist says, “do something creative, a project. The sense of accomplishment when you complete it will enhance your positive thoughts.” You would think so. So, off I go into what my husband calls the “crap” room –he doesn’t get the concept of “crafts” — to work on a projects. Now, I love crafts. Rarely do I actually finish a project, but I do so love starting them. So, again, since l don’t have the commitment to follow through and complete most things, I feel guilty because I am lazy and wasted all that time and money.

Therapist says, “Accept that your life is not what it used to be. You are waiting for a heart transplant and you can do nothing about that. Deal with it. You will do what you can and nothing more.” Well, I’m not sure where that leaves me, except sitting here rambling to heaven knows who.

I am trying something new today. I got up at 7:00 a.m when it was time to take my medicine. I am going to try my life on a schedule. I have mapped out the next two weeks, down to the half hour. Perhaps I can get things done this way. Hasn’t ever happened in the past, but who knows. I am a different person than I was yesterday.

So, if you see all kinds of strange things going on with me, odd mutterings, swearing, and other various peculiarities, just know it is me trying to be organized and productive. Oh, and positive.