Begging for Reviews: UPDATE

Betrayed by Sam Morton

Okey Dokey. I thought I would let everyone know where we stand right now with the review contest.

Don’t know what the hell I’m talking about? Pop over and read https://karensyed.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/wtf-begging-for-book-reviews/

I have sent out 23 downloads.

I have received 2 reviews.

8 of the 10 titles offered have been requested.

Don’t forget that there is a deadline for this contest, and I hate to be a grinch, but we need to see 50 reviews for me to give that Kindle away.

So tell all your friends. Authors, this is a GREAT way for you to get some promo because you can post your byline with your review. Yeah, I said it. I ENCOURAGE it. If you are willing to take the time to review one of our books, I am perfectly happy for you to get a little play from it. (Just don’t abuse it. LOL)

Reviewers Gone Bad

In keeping with my theme this week, I wanted to touch lightly (not that I do much lightly) on book reviewers that go rogue…or in some cases, bad. What constitutes bad in the review industry? Okay, before I tell you, here is my standard disclaimer: these are just my opinions. I am not a professional book reviewer, I don’t claim to be an expert. I am simply an author and a publisher who has to interact with reviewers on a regular basis.)

So, where was I? Oh yeah, bad reviewers. Over the last twenty-five years, I have read a lot of reviews. Some of them are stellar, even when the reviewer didn’t like the book. Others have been downright embarrassing for the rest of us in the industry. Here are my five top things that make reviewers bad.

5. Anorexic reviews. If you are a reviewer, write a review. Don’t offer a blurb. “I loved this book. The author has done it again with a great mystery.” This is NOT a review, it is a blurb. This is what authors/publishers use on book covers and in ad copy. A review is a breakdown of what you thought of the various aspects of a book. Plot, characters, description, writing style, etc.

4. Excessive spoilers. For the love of Pete, why would any reviewer who had a clue give away key points of a plot? I just want to kill someone when I read a review that reveals who, what, where, why, or when of a mystery plot when I’m supposed to figure it out as I read. Come on people, show some consideration. If you need a description of the book, use the publishers so you don’t tell secrets.

3. Glossing poetic. Big words, and colorful adjectives that don’t offer a damn bit of anything about the actual book. I don’t care if ” the author writes a blissfully elegant tale.” Yeah, yeah, I get that, someone else thought the same thing and published it. Why would you tell us that “everything about this book sings to my emotional side.” What the hell does that mean? Is the plot solid? Do the characters come to life on the page with their hilarious antics? Does the setting come to life and offer readers a glimpse into the perfectly flawed community of gnomes? Tell us what you think of the damn book.

2. Charging money. I get it, everyone needs to make money, but in this industry, it just isn’t right. The reviewer is getting a free book and has (in most cases) chosen to offer their opinion. If they work for someone else, then it is up to the employer to pay the reviewer. NOT the author/publisher.

1. Vicious attacks. Book reviews are NOT a platform for venting your anger or hostility. Do not take a bad day and turn it into a tirade against an author who just happens to headhop in their book–or whatever. No one wants to read a review that calls the author a talentless hack who couldn’t write a halfway decent book on a good day. No one cares if you think the author has wasted paper by penning a book about two people too stupid to live, much like the author. This is just mean and it serves no good purpose. When you write a book review, you are reviewing the BOOK, not the author. If the book is poorly written then find a halfway considerate way to say “While the story had promise, perhaps the author could focus a bit on general grammar rules.” It makes the point without making the author suicidal. Mean reviews lead to me to think that those who can’t say mean things about those who were brave enough to try.

Just because you call yourself a reviewer doesn’t make you a good one. There are simple rules for every little thing in life we do, and if not rules, then at the very least guidelines. If you take on the responsibility of reviewing, then take it seriously and do it in a respectful manner. You are not going to like every book you read, but that doesn’t give you the right to ensure that no one else does either. Offer some insight, without being an ass.

 

How I Write a Book Review

Hullo! After writing yesterday’s Blog Post [WTF? Begging for Reviews] I received several emails from folks who said they would like to review one of our books, but they didn’t know how to write a review. A couple even said they had Googled for the info, but got so many different ways, they were left confused.

Since I am asking for reviews, I will tell you how I write reviews. This is not a rule or even a guideline. It is simply how I choose to do it, and you are welcome to give my method a try, if you’d like.

First: I try not to offer up a synopsis of the story. As readers we see different things and we may see them differently. If the review requires a description, I use the jacket copy provided by the publisher/author.

Second: Now, I said the description was first, but for me it really isn’t. It was just easier to start there. I try to make my first paragraph about my initial reaction of what I thought of the book/story. I write quite a few reviews, so this may vary a little, depending on my mood.

Skeleton in a Dead Space by Judy AlterFor example:

You should really read this book. I mean if you like cozy mysteries with spunky heroines and situations that could easily happen to you. from the opening chapter, Judy Alter takes the reader through the adventures of a real estate agent who just happens to own a property with a skeleton in the closet. Literally.

Third: The next paragraph or two (I try to keep them short), I go into a little more detail about what I liked or didn’t like. I try to include at least one or two comments about the plot, the pacing (how easy it was to stay in the flow of the story), the characters, and if the use of surroundings is good I like to comment on that as well.

For example:

When first we meet Kelly O’Connell it appears she is at the beginning of a normal day. But one phone call changes all of that. She’s got a remodel going on and now there’s a dead body, and old dead body, mucking it up.

From the discovery of the body to the resolution of the mystery, the author treats readers to a variety of unique characters and situations. We get goofy people, we get seriously mean villains, and we get a hint of potential romance.

Lastly: I use this final paragraph to give my overall opinion of the book. I try to offer up at least one solid sentence that the author/publisher could use on bookmarks or their website. I do that as a courtesy. This paragraph is all about what I want to tell other readers. I am after all, reviewing as an aid to other readers. A review is an opinion and they will be different from every reader, because we all like and notice different things.

For example:

No one aspect overshadows any of the others and I consider this to be one of the best paced stories I’ve read in a while. Not a particularly clever mystery, but solid and enjoyable. I look forward to the next book in the series. This is author one to watch.

I’ve been asked why I choose to write/post negative reviews. I don’t consider any of my reviews negative. I consider them honest. There are some books that just don’t please me. In fact, some really bug me. I post those reviews as considerately as I can, but with my honest opinions. What I say about a book, whether good or bade, is not law. It is my OPINION. Many mothers remind us that “Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” It’s true.

I post reviews so that other readers can get an idea of what I saw when I read. And if they find something in my review that excites them (quirky characters) then it will encourage them to read the book. If they agree with me that (there is too much history in large dumps) they may skip it. It is their choice. I personally will not read a book that has no negative reviews. I can’t imagine a book that every single person likes. I prefer to read honest reviews about books so I can make a somewhat educated choice.

As an afterthought, I don’t recommend you ever EVER use a review to voice your personal opinion on an author. Reviews are not a tool for bashing people you don’t like. This seems to have gained some momentum lately and it is just bad form as a human being. You are not reviewing the author, you are reviewing the book. Leave the personal insults out of it. And if for some reason you find that a book has a tremendous amount, or even a small amount of technical errors, be delicate in your comments. Some book shave errors but are still great reads.I usually write:

Please note that this book contain some editorial errors, but they did not distract me from the story.

or

Please note this book contains editorial errors that I did find distracting to the story.

Simple and not vicious.

I hope this helps those of you who were looking for a little guidance for writing book reviews. If not, then no harm no foul.

The examples I used are from my actual review of  Skeleton in a Dead Space (A Kelly O’Connell Mystery) by Judy Alter.