Today would have been my mom’s 70th birthday. She died five days ago. I’m not sure how the rest of you feel, but I Hhave some mixed emotions. Sounds crazy, huh?
My relationship with my mother has been strained, to say the least, but I discovered something recently. I don’t know if this is normal or not, but in the last week I learned that my childhood/life wasn’t so bad. My mother and I fought horribly and there was a tremendous amount of tension between us for as long as I can remember, but since last Saturday, I have remembered a whole lot of things that I had either forgotten or blocked–misplaced anger?
We used to live in this little itty bitty (and I mean garden shed small) house at the entrance to the trailer park where my grandparents lived. It was a duplex…I kid you not. So, we had these two guys who lived in the other half and one of them worked at some kind of store and every so often he would bring home these boxes of Charms Pops, you remember the ones in the shiny-colored clear cellophane, and they would give them to my mom for me. She never said no.
Well, Christmas rolls around and our house is so small that we have no room for even a small artificial tree, but my mom was a fanatic for Christmas and refused to be held back. So I wake up on Christmas morning and there is this mound of presents for me and sitting on top of the stack is this 6 inch high Christmas tree statue–all my present under it. I was delighted.
I also remember when I turned 10 or so, she gave me the choice of where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. She listed off some places and ended with “The Golden Arches.” She said it with so much awe that I thought it must be the most wonderful restaurant in the world. We got all dressed up in our very best clothes and we headed out. When we pulled ito the parking lot, I was shocked and then I just giggled and giggled. She was quite proud of herself and it was one of my best birthdays.
I hope that wherever your slippers are sitting right now, Mom, that you are at peace and that you know that I have always loved you, know matter what…I guess even I didn’t know how much
Journey of the Heart 