When…if…I…some days

I just don’t know what to say. I have been slipping into a slump the last couple days. I don’t know how to cope as well as I would like. Looking for a therapist and needing it badly.

I tried to get away alone today, but my husband doesn’t understand that sometimes I just need to be by myself. I need to be alone with my thoughts, to be away from people. To be by myself, where no one is looking at me with pity in their eyes or asking if I’m okay, or hovering like I’m some fragile doll that will break.

I love that people care about me, but I just don’t know how to make people understand that I am trying to be normal. I hate the way people look at me or talk to me. I get it. I know that people are concerned about me, and that is great, but I need people to understand that I need to be in my own head sometimes and that means not talking or being questioned or all the other things that come with people caring about me.

I know I sound ungrateful, but I’m really not. I’m just overwhelmed and tired of being treated like I’m not normal. I just want my life back.

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