Well, my morning started off pretty good, and just took a nosedive into the crapper. What I am about to tell you should not upset me, it should not even matter to me, but it does…for so many reasons.
Yesterday I was directed to a Blog post by a relatively new author who is documenting the marketing journey. I read through the Blog and was impressed with the information the author shared. I did, however, notice a few things that were a little short on info. I took a little while and posted a comment. I did praise the author, but I also suggested a few things that I thought might be helpful, like adding the email contact to the Blog so people could contact the author without having to go through a public comment. I made a few other suggestions, nothing bad, nothing too serious, nothing out of line.
I went back in today to check on the blog and see what was new and I discovered that my post has been deleted. There was no moderation (I’m pretty sure the post went up straight away), it is just gone. The only posts left up are the posts that specifically praise the author. This makes me sad and it leads me to my point.
If you can’t take the heat in the publishing industry stop publishing books. If you don’t want people to post their true thoughts and comments on your Blog, then don’t Blog. I am certain there are things that should be deleted, but a helpful and supportive comment isn’t one of them…especially from a publisher (not just me, ANY publisher.
I am a publisher. I do have things to share, and some of them actually have some value. But I can tell you, after this, I will think long and hard before I share any suggestions or advice with others–even if I think it will help them. My husband often tells me I am too giving with my knowledge and experience and that I should just let people learn things themselves, the hard way, like I did. I am beginning to think he might be right. He says I will help anyone with anything, but when I need help, I always get the cold shoulder. I just tell him it is the way the business works. But today has made me realize that this is not how it should work. You get what you give and quite honestly, I’m kinda tired of giving and not getting anything back.
D.M. Anderson: I want to thank you for your comments this morning on my editing and to let you know how deeply they are appreciated. It makes this new bit of “life” a little easier to get past…in a minute…
You have earned a shameless plug for your book.
This is one of the best books I’ve read in a very long time. You should read for yourself!
“I’m kinda tired of giving and not getting anything back.”
With you on that one. But what else can we do?
At least you can rest easy knowing your advice was good and heeded, Karen, even if the blogger was ungrateful. I never care if people heed my advice or not and then I don’t get hurt by their actions. I’ve worked with selfish, ungrateful people in the past and learned not to care. I remember when I first started blogging and you gave me advice on how to make my blog better – it was good advice. Don’t let rude people change you.
Keep paying it forward, Karen. The folks who appreciate what you do are the important ones. As for the others? Well, that’s their loss.
It’s unfortunate that this new author is so bent on ego gratification that they were unable to post your thoughtful suggestions. As a newly published author, I know I appreciate any and all help that I receive, so please don’t stop offering your valuable suggestions! Don’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch:))
Personally I have a thin skin when it comes to negativity, but how else are we to learn. Good instructive critique is always better then no comments in my experience. You are a good publisher and people should respect that. Hope you can get more positive feedback in the future.
Your comments are always valuable. How else would I have learned? Good and bad….continue to bring it on. You pointed out avenues for advertising I wouldn’t have known about! When one of your new authors approaches me, I share, share, share. It’s what this journey is all about. Thank you, Karen, for all you’ve done!
Okay, now here is the kicker. I went back to the site to see if I had been mistaken and owed anyone an apology and no, I don’t. My comment is still gone, however, the author DID take my advice and made the changes I suggested in the comment they deleted.
Aw, chin up. Happens all the time. And when they finally wake up, they never come back to thank you for the advice, either, so you have that to look forward to as well.
You’ve written the story of my life. I once sat with an employee over several weeks – 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there – answering questions and teaching him about the business we were in. I’m thinking “what a great employee who really wants to know about the business.” Next thing I know he’s opening a competitive business the next county over. But what you know what? I can’t live my life feeling stingy or “un-giving.” Be assured, some people do appreciate constructive criticism. I’m one of them – so thanks.
Karen, we all whether a blogger or a publisher or even an author have experienced these sorts of things first hand ( I have) and have to say you hit the nail on the head !! You do need to have a thick skin, but that does not have to mean that you have to be rude and disingenuous to anyone who you meet while on your path, any path for that matter. I am sorry this upset you, I personally has had it happened to me, and I am not the only one. Chin up !! I am sure that there ARE authors/ people out there that appreciate everything that you do, just keep doing what you are doing, you aren’t doing anything wrong 🙂 it is THEM who have the problem by deleting your comment and thinking it is a dig at them when I know and everyone that does know you were only trying to assist the person in the first place.