Journey of the Heart

So I go over to read Kana’s Chronicles today and I see that she has posted some blog rules that she found somewhere else. They were so damn funny, I could hardly stand it. General responses were that almost all of us either didn’t know there were rules or just don’t give a damn.

One of my favorite rules is: “Don’t blog about your home life or pets or your kids. Your kids are NOT interesting.”

So I decided to Blog about both today. Then I hit a small snag in my wild and reckless rebellion…I have no cat, I have no children. Now what the hell do I do? So, I am improvising.

1. Home life: Yesterday was our family Christmas Party and we had it at our house. It was our first party in the house. Okay, let’s be honest, it was our first party, period. How sad is that? At any rate. My family came in from various surrounding cities and brought me gifts. Okay, they brought gifts for everyone, but the only ones that truly mattered to me were the one’s to me.

So we had food, and we had presents, and we had fun. I know, right. It was the first time I had been able to be at a family gathering in about 5-6 years. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. And I missed them. It was a blending of cultures as my husband’s parents are here from Pakistan and they speak no English. But to be honest, laughter sounds the same in any language.

2. Pets: I do not currently have any pets. Soon I will have fish. Gale Borger and her handsome husband boB (that’s Bob spelled backwards) are supposed to come for a visit in February and are going to help me set up an aquarium. I am so excited I can barely stand it. Pretty sure I want a salt water tank, cause the fish are much prettier. Not that all fresh water fish are ugly…it would be mean to say that. I used to have a fish tank years ago and had a number neon tetras. Unfortunately, the little bastards die so frequently that it became bothersome to keep coming up with new names for them.

3. Kids. Well, I had 2 out of 3. Since I have no kids, I will have to talk about someone else’s kid. I have decided to use my cousins kid. Cameron. Now, Cameron has been one of my favorite kids since the day he was born. Not just because we are related, but because he is one of the coolest kids I’ve ever known. Always been smart as a whip, cute as a button, and clever to boot. I remember when he was little he loved Pee-wee Herman. He hd this Pee-wee doll that you pulled the string and it talked and laughed.  It was so cute to watch Cameron walk around with that thing. Well, we all know how the Pee-wee thing turned out, but Cameron on the other hand had made our entire family so proud.

Next Sunday we will gather in Daytona to watch Cameron…who sadly for me and the biological clock…is no longer a child but a remarkable man. I probably don’t tell him that enough, but it has been an absolute joy watching him grow  into a man. His parents have done a super job with him. Sorry, got sidetracked…next Sunday Cameron will graduate from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University. And it looks like he will be going on to get his Masters. So who wouldn’t be proud of him. I know I am.

So there, I have covered all the aspects of the chosen rule that told me I should not do certain things in my Blog. Now, I think this is all quite interesting, but you in fact may not. Okay, fair enough. However, it is my Blog, and I do have the right to freedom of speech (at least for now) so if you want to continue be stimulated by my scintillating chatter, you may have to deal with a few broken rules once in a while.

Then again…what the hell is a rule??

Yes, that’s right. I attract stupid. Not everything/everyone that comes to me is stupid, but if it/they are stupid, they will find me like a moth to flame…does that make me hot?

Oh, the point. Went out today, standing in Wal-Mart book section. Lady looking for romance novels. She is looking at covers, reading blurbs, and looking for author pictures. Yes, pictures. She’s mumbling to herself as she picks up book after book and then puts them back down.

I am just watching, wondering what her criteria is for actually putting one in her cart. Finally she notices me staring…I didn’t mean to. She says, “Do you read romance?”

I smile, and say, “Yes, I do. I have for as long as I can remember.”

She shakes her head and pulls a book off the shelf and hands it to me. She opens to the back of the book and says, “Why is it that all romance authors are fat?”

I look at her, my mouth hanging open…I can only stare more. “Um…er…”

“I know, it’s horrible,” she goes on. “If they aren’t fat when they start writing, they get fatter with each book.”

I snap out of it and hand the book back to her. I am about to walk away when she hands me another book, open to the picture. I pretend to look.

“I have weight problems of my own,” she tells me. “I don’t want to read stuff written by fat gals.”

I hand the book back and step away. I had a purpose for being in that aisle. She continues to jabber at me.

“Every day I go to work and am surrounded by fat people. It just really bothers me how people let themselves go.”

Keep in mind she’s already admitted to having a weight problem.

“People should take more pride in themselves and if they don’t then they should not go out and be around people.” She smiles at me, and then says. ” So what kind of work do you do?”

I think about this for a minute, and I considered telling her I was a freaking super model, but decide to go a different direction. I look her right in the eyes and say, “I’ve written and published eight romance novels.”

I hear her mumbling, “Oh really,” as I walk away and turn out of the aisle.

I swear to God I wish I could make this stuff up when I’m writing. It is all so damn priceless. I wasn’t going to mention this, but then I saw and article on Facebook that kinda set me off a little and I decided I needed to vent a little. The article is at http://feelgoodstyle.com/2011/12/05/lizzie-miller/